Shoes in the House

On the difference between trying and doing

Hi, it’s Brilliant.

Every one of us lives with things we could do, things we want to do, things we tell ourselves we’re going to do. We have limits — time, attention, energy, money — so some of it gets filed under someday. That’s human.

Even after I’d committed to Reclaiming Prayer — after the proposal, the plan, the question set, dozens of recorded interviews — even after I’d made what others might consider “significant progress,” one question kept needling me: Am I really writing this book, or am I trying to write it?

I set so many deadlines nobody else ever saw. How many books I’d read by when. How many interviews I’d finish by when. Personal prayer experiments I intended to try and write about. A podcast built from all those recorded conversations. I missed most of them.

But I kept going.

And along the way there were moments, conversations mostly, that felt like wind in my sails. One came from one of my best friends. He has a corporate job with a Fortune 500 company and works from home. He told me one of the things that keeps him effective is getting ready every morning as if he were going to the office. Pressed shirt. Belt. Shoes. In his own house. All his meetings are on video. Nobody would ever know if he skipped the pants.

He would know.

It reminded me of a conversation with my friend Britt Frank, psychotherapist and author of The Science of Stuck. She told me that to get her book finished, she dressed for every writing session as if she were meeting one of the clients the finished book would bring her. Jewelry. Even perfume. The clients she was writing for didn’t exist yet. Neither did the book. She dressed for them anyway.

There’s an old admonition: “Be now what thou prayest to be made.”

After that conversation with my friend, I committed to doing the same. I haven’t been perfect. But I’ve suited up more days than not.

And here’s what I can tell you this week: I just spent six weeks gathering feedback from the book’s first readers, and I’m about to sign with the company that will handle final edits, design, and distribution. So when I ask myself, Am I really doing this? — soon I’ll be able to answer, definitively: No. I’m not doing it.

I already did.

What are you telling yourself you’re going to do?

And what will you be wearing once you’ve finally done it?

From the Commonplace Book

“Every man is working out his destiny in his own way and nobody can be of any help except by being kind, generous, and patient.”

― Henry Miller, Henry Miller on Writing

Further Down the Rabbit Hole

Years ago, I interviewed Stephen Cope for the School for Good Living podcast. Cope is the author of The Great Work of Your Life, a book about finding and doing the thing you’re here to do. He told me the key to actually finishing his books came down to a mantra he lived by: “Suit up and show up.” He did. The books exist. You can listen to our conversation here.

If something in this issue landed for you — or if you know exactly what you’ll be wearing — hit reply and tell me. I read every one.

Wishing you every good thing,

Brilliant